Walking Philadelphia.
“Derelicts.” The only word that I can think of that can describe the people of Philadelphia.
Cripples, half cripples, fake cripples, homeless cripples, government funded cripples.
Starbucks, Starbucks hipsters, Starbucks whores, Starbucks caffeine addicts, Starbucks yuppies.
Cheesesteaks, fat men, obese women, obtuse children, ballooned babies.
Dirty, dirtier, dirtiest, insane, litter.
Minorities, minors, millionaires, office worker stereotypes, suits and ties.
Eagles fans, Phillies fans, 76ers fans.
Black, Obama, African, ghetto, rap, ebonics.
Everyone’s fucked up.
Top Ten Things to Find In the Streets of Philadelphia.
10. Pee/Feces
It always smells like a toilet in Philly, so I’m guessing that’s what it really is!
9. Red Solo Cups
Especially in college kid neighborhoods, but they tend to blow all around the city (it’s a wind tunnel).
8. Chicken Bones
Stereotypical.
7. Clothes/Blankets
Homeless peoples’ nests or just undesired — don’t leave your stuff all over the place!
6. Used Prepaid Phone Cards
Think you found someone’s credit card and you’re ready to max it out? Nope, you’re wrong. Just a useless prepaid phone card. Damn.
5. Dime Bags (Empty)
Why are they always empty!?
4. Homeless People
Sleeping/laying/passed out/crazy. They’re all over the place.
3. Used Tampons/Condoms
These are disgusting but very common. I can see condoms, but TAMPONS? What do you do, just rip ‘em out and throw ‘em out the car window? Sheesh!
2. Obama/Phillies/Protest Prop 8/Riot Propaganda
Philly loves its riots — so keep on the look out for some vintage Obama/Phillies signs while recycling anything related to Prop 8 — IT’S NOT OVER YET. Too bad it’s doubtful the Eagles will win the Super Bowl . . . could you imagine?!
1. Tumble Weaves
I will never understand the concept of hair being glued to your head and then it falling out all over the place. Isn’t that a little . . . odd? Nevertheless, finding different varieties of braided hair rolling down the street is pretty funny.
Rollin', rollin', rollin'!
