Healthy Bodied Female Celebs.

This is just a list that all moms, teachers, counselors, adults, whatevers should relay to young girls for better self esteem.

-Rachel Weisz
-Scarlett Johansson (ick)
-Kate Winslet
-Jessica Biel
-Eva Mendes
-Jennifer Lopez
-Britney Spears (surprisingly)
-Drew Barrymore <3
-Cameron Diaz (YES, she’s thin, but not disordered and bullshit)
-Lily Allen
-Christina Aguilera (had baby, natural thin still, no ED problems)
-America Ferrera
-Liv Tyler
-Beyonce
-Catherine Zeta-Jones
-Fergie
-Mariah Carey
-Penelope Cruz
-Kirsten Dunst (naturally thin)
-Hilary Duff
-Kim Kardashian (pending)
-Salma Hayek
-Natalie Portman
-Rihanna
-Kelly Osborne
-Uma Thurman (Kill Bill, very FIT)

I will update this post later and make it spiffy.

Poor Oprah.

160 pounds (or so she says) ————> 200!

I feel sorry for Oprah.  Her ratings are down, she has emotional eating problems/has been struggling with her weight for MANY years, and she’s pretty much in a rut.

But ugh, I can’t relate to any of this — I tend to not look at Oprah and think of her weight.  She’s just OPRAH.  She’s just a GODDESS, you know.  For once, weight is not an issue!

Just give her a break!

Hey, Don’t Blame Me!

When the government, excuse my language, fucks you over for being a minority of some nature, who have you got to blame?

How about a government coined term? “We the people” sound fair? So, Minority, blame the people!

You see, that’s wrong. While the “majority” voted your rights away for some strange reason, that doesn’t mean that the individual that’s sitting next to you directly inflicted these laws/restrictions on you.

You can’t be angsty with every person that you meet! It wouldn’t be fair, and think of it this way — most likely that person that you’re lashing out at for being what you think of as “the least persecuted out there” (white male) is still fighting for his liberties, as well. While his woes may not exceed your own, it is not HIS fault, individually, that these laws were inflicted on you.

Some laws that may be unnoticed for persecuting “less blatant” minorities include drug laws, certain taxes, handicapped/disabled health care, welfare, et cetera. Keep in mind that there is not one human being in this “land of the free” that has not struggled with their liberty at one point in their lives.

So, when you get down in the dumps, just think that everyone’s lives suck because of -dum dum dum dum- UNCLE SAM! -does a dance-

Death and taxes, death and taxes, death and taxes! Great life!

Work on your MANNERS in 2009!

“Mama always said . . . “

Yes, MAMA raised me well.  My mother may be a sadistic, scary, angry, bipolar woman, but man, SHE RAISED ME to be MANNERLY and proper to every extent of every law of ettiquette.  No, you wouldn’t believe it when you look at me, because yes, sometimes I slack on the manners, but there are a few that I believe are common, easy to follow, and should be taken into account by every human being.  This list doesn’t require you to pull out the chair for your date or tip 50 percent at restaurants.

These are the basics (in no order of importance).

1. Hold door open, thank someone for doing so, be courteous and respectful in that sense.  Do not slam the door in someone’s face.  Do not close the door when there is someone RIGHT behind you.
2. Chew with your mouth closed.  Do not smack your lips.  Do not CHEW loud.  I wholeheartedly enjoy my food (even crunchy, obnoxious food) and keep it to a minimum.  For instance, I eat an apple, and YES, it crunches, but that’s acceptable.  But when you chew, don’t smoosh it and slosh it and SMACK your mouth all over.  Seriously.  This is easy.  Clean out your ears and listen to how disgusting you sound!  And do not gulp your drinks unless you just ran a few miles, man.  Just don’t be a glutton.
3. Clean up after yourself.  Don’t leave dirty dishes sitting around/don’t throw toilet paper on the floor/use common sense!
4. Walk on the right side of the street.  Just to makes things EASIER.
5. “Excuse me,” “You’re welcome,” “Thank you.”  USE THEM OFTEN.
6. Remember: You are no better then anyone else — so don’t act that way!
7. Always tell someone how you feel — don’t talk and scheme behind their backs.  You wouldn’t like it if someone talked about you, now would you?  Chill with the gossip — unless it’s harmless.  Do unto other’s . . . “the Golden Rule.”
8. Watch your mouth.  You never know who you’re offending when you blab mindlessly about sensitive topics — and a great example would be perhaps making fun of Buddha’s weight in front of a Buddhist.  You get it.
9. Do not interrupt someone who is speaking!  No cutting off!  Always respect what a person says!  Wait until they are done speaking and then attack them in debate!
10. Ask for clarification PROPERLY.  No “HUH” “WHAT” “HAR” “EH”.  Instead, how about an “Excuse me?” or a “Sorry?”

I’ve got two copies of books of etiquette — one for women and one for men.  Actually, my boyfriend’s got the man one.  ;D  Tell me if you need to borrow ‘em.