Twilight.

80 million in the box office.  Screaming fan girls.  I decided to check it out.

The vampire graphics, as usual, sucked.  Speed and feeding SUCKED.  Strength SUCKED.  Just bad in that department.

ON TOP OF IT ALL, vampires are supposed to have an air of seduction.  Yes, Edward Cullen HAD seduction.  I almost fell for it.  BUT it was very fake.  Very forced.  He seems like he’s meant to play a goofy character — not some hot vampire.  He’s a nerd!  He may be “hot,” but he doesn’t know how to work it.  He’d be better off in Harry Potter (oh wait) seducing the more nerdy of nerds — not the vampire nerds that secretly want to have their neck sucked while being . . . oh wait, I’ll stop.

Nice hair, is it natural?

But, I give Twilight props, generally.  The main girl character WANTS to be turned into a vampire to be with Edward — forever.  Isn’t the cute?  Hell, I wish that could happen IRL, man.